An Interview with GWAR

GWAR-B-Q 2016

Millions of years ago a group of sadistic and elite warriors known as the Scumdogs of the Universe were banished to an insignificant planet called Earth. They lay dormant for all these years until the pollution being spread by mankind thawed them and when they woke from their comas, their quest to eradicate all things living continued. For over 30 years these abominations have ravaged earth armed with swords and electric guitars warping minds and souls alike and devouring and destroying all that stand in their way of total domination. Earthlings have but one choice- bow down to the all mighty GWAR or perish as many have before at the hands of musical monsters.

These beasts have spent years touring the world spreading their music like a plague, infecting and eradicating anything living they come in contact with. Well with a stroke of genius, GWAR found a way to make their victims come to them. For the seventh year running they will take over Hadad’s Lake in Richmond, VA with a gathering inspired by meat, metal and mayhem as the infamous GWAR B-Q returns..

Beefcake the Mighty

One member of this heinous group goes by the name of Beefcake the Mighty. This glutinous being originally from the planet Cholesterol took time to talk to HEAR about the events to come at this years festival and his time living here on earth. We obviously did this interview over the phone so that we would not ourselves end up in the belly of this bass playing goliath.

I don’t really miss my home planet, there’s a lot of fat women there. The women on earth are a lot better looking.” Beefcake told HEAR. Not only the women but the food on earth is to his liking as well. “My favorite food is burritos…and babies. Baby flavored burritos are the best. They have baby flavored Hot Pockets now too!

This year is the seventh installment of the GWAR B-Q but Beefcake says they will probably only have a few more. “I think we’ll stop at ten ‘cus I can’t count higher than that ‘cus I only have ten fingers on my hands.” The amazing line-up includes Lamb of God, Against Me!, Murphy’s Law, Dillinger Escape Plan, and many more sharing three stages starting at 10 AM and lasting all day. The day before, also in Richmond, is the B4 B-Q at The National with Cannibal Corpse as the headliner. “Revocation will be at the B4 B-Q. I love those guys! One of the best metal bands around.

This year marks the release of GWAR’s own vodka line, Arctic Snow GWAR Vodka. Drink at your own risk, this may be another way for these Demi Gods to take control of the population. They also have three new GWAR fluids from Mount Baker Vapor for those that like to vape.
Be sure not to miss this event, the GWAR B-Q on 8/20 and the B4 B-Q on 8/19 as the Scumdogs invade Richmond. Tickets and more info available at www.GWAR.net. Keep your eyes and ears open as GWAR has returned to the studio to work on their first album since the loss of their leader Oderus Urungus who died in 2014. Beefcake’s parting words to all his fans…

“Fuck Off!”

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